That’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned: life flows best when I stop resisting and start listening to my instincts, my desires, and the quiet nudges that push me toward growth. And through this, a few truths have become clear:

The best decisions come from what feels right, not what’s expected
There’s so much pressure to follow a timeline, whether it’s career, relationships, or life milestones. But I’ve realized that the most fulfilling choices are the ones that come from within – not from societal expectations, not from fear, but from a place of genuine alignment. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. And if it does? That’s reason enough to trust it.

Joy comes from presence, not just outcomes
It’s easy to get caught up in chasing the next thing – a goal, a person, a milestone. But I’ve found that real joy isn’t just in achieving something; it’s in experiencing life fully, as it happens. Whether that’s deep conversations, creative bursts of inspiration, or moments of pure excitement, I want to savor it all without needing it to “mean” something bigger.

You can’t rush clarity, but it comes when you’re ready
Some answers only reveal themselves over time. Some paths don’t make sense until you’ve walked them. Looking back, I see how every decision, even the difficult ones, led me to where I am now. And while I don’t have everything figured out, I trust that as long as I keep choosing what feels right, I’ll end up exactly where I’m meant to be.

Loving life starts with loving yourself first
The most important relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves. Everything else – connections, opportunities, and experiences, flows better when we treat ourselves with the love, patience, and trust we often give so freely to others. The more I embrace who I am, the more life meets me with the same energy in return.

So here’s to living life by what feels right. To trusting the process, embracing uncertainty, and knowing that even the detours are part of the path. Because looking back, I see now, every twist, every challenge, every unexpected shift was always leading me home to myself.

During my two weeks on Bumble BFF, I matched with a few individuals who shared some of my interests. One was an avid ballet enthusiast, but our conversations never quite progressed to the point of scheduling a dance class together. Another match expressed a desire to visit Universal Studios, but financial constraints seemed to hinder our plans. While I suggested alternative budget-friendly activities, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was expecting me to cover her expenses.

Then there was the one who was more interested in building her Instagram profile than in genuine friendship. While I understand the appeal of social media, I’ve grown weary of its superficiality and the pressure to constantly curate one’s online presence.

After a series of these experiences, I decided to uninstall Bumble BFF. While I appreciate the technological advancements that connect us in various ways, I’ve come to realize that virtual interactions often fall short of fostering authentic connections.

I yearned for the warmth and camaraderie of a real community, so I ventured beyond the digital realm and joined a hiking group. This decision proved to be a turning point. Surrounded by like-minded individuals who shared a passion for the outdoors, I felt a sense of belonging that was missing from my Bumble BFF encounters.

I also stepped out of my comfort zone and attended an art party hosted by someone I barely knew. Despite my initial apprehension, I followed my intuition and found myself surrounded by genuine and creative individuals who shared my artistic interests.

These experiences reaffirmed my belief that genuine connections are forged through shared experiences and mutual interests, not through carefully crafted profiles and fleeting conversations on apps.

So, I’ve decided to bid farewell to Bumble BFF and dating apps altogether. I’ve come to realize that the illusion of endless options often leads to desensitization and hinders the formation of meaningful connections. While I’ve met many people online and successfully built a community and esports team as a Twitch and PUBG partner, I’m not suggesting that technology is inherently evil. Productive ventures and genuine friendships can still flourish through it, and I deeply value the connections I’ve made.

However, I’ve become cautious about dispersing my energy to individuals who may not align with my vibe. I’ve consciously chosen to protect my energy and avoid diluting it any further. It’s a decision aimed at nurturing genuine connections and preserving the quality of my interactions.

My current goal is to cultivate self-sufficiency and embrace the possibility of living a fulfilling life on my own. While society often dictates a path toward marriage and parenthood, I’m embracing the idea that my path may lie in advocating for personal fulfillment and contributing to society through other avenues, such as volunteering or charity work.

To my future self, I offer this advice:

1. Embrace the power of real-world interactions. Step outside your comfort zone and engage in activities that align with your interests. You’ll find that genuine connections often blossom in unexpected places.

2. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things. You never know what you might discover about yourself and the people around you.

3. Trust your intuition. It’s your guiding light, leading you towards authentic connections and fulfilling experiences.

4. Embrace your uniqueness and don’t conform to societal expectations. Your path may be different, and that’s okay.

5. Cultivate self-love and self-acceptance. These are the foundations for building meaningful relationships with others.

Remember, the journey to finding genuine connections is not always linear or easy. But by embracing your true self, pursuing your passions, and stepping out of your comfort zone, you’ll discover that the world is brimming with opportunities to form deep and meaningful friendships.

The California housing market has been on a roller coaster ride in recent years. After experiencing a boom in 2020 and 2021, the market began to cool down in 2023. This was due to a number of factors, including rising interest rates, inflation, and a decline in stock prices.

In the second quarter of 2023, the median home price in California was $830,620, down from $880,000 in the first quarter. Home sales also declined by 14.2% year-over-year.

The slowdown in the housing market is presenting some challenges for both buyers and sellers. For buyers, the biggest challenge is affordability. With rising interest rates and home prices, it is becoming more difficult for buyers to qualify for a mortgage and afford a down payment.

For sellers, the biggest challenge is inventory. There is still a shortage of homes for sale in California, which is giving buyers the upper hand in negotiations. Sellers may need to be prepared to price their homes competitively and offer concessions to buyers in order to sell their homes quickly.

Challenges Buyers and Sellers Are Facing Right Now

Here is a summary of the challenges that buyers and sellers are facing in the California housing market in 2023:

Buyers:

• Affordability: Rising interest rates and home prices are making it more difficult for buyers to qualify for a mortgage and afford a down payment.
• Low inventory: There is a shortage of homes for sale in California, which is giving buyers the upper hand in negotiations.
• Competition: The California housing market is still competitive, even with the recent slowdown. Buyers need to be prepared to act quickly when they find a home that they love.

Sellers:

• Pricing: Sellers need to price their homes competitively in order to attract buyers.
• Concessions: Sellers may need to offer concessions to buyers, such as paying for closing costs or offering a home warranty.
• Marketing: Sellers need to market their homes effectively in order to reach a wide pool of potential buyers.

Tips for Buyers and Sellers

Here are some tips on how to buy a home in California in 2023 affordably:

Buyers:

• Get pre-approved for a mortgage before you start shopping for a home. This will give you an idea of how much money you can borrow and what your monthly payments will be.
• Work with a qualified real estate agent who can help you find the right home for your needs and budget.
• Be prepared to act quickly when you find a home that you love. The California housing market is competitive, so you need to be ready to make an offer right away.
• Be flexible on your budget and criteria. You may need to compromise on some things in order to find a home that you can afford.

And here are tips on how to sell your home in California quickly in 2023

Sellers:

• Price your home competitively. Get a comparative market analysis (CMA) from a real estate agent to determine what similar homes in your area are selling for.
• Be prepared to offer concessions to buyers. Buyers are more likely to make an offer on your home if you are willing to pay for closing costs or offer a home warranty.
• Market your home effectively. List your home on multiple real estate websites and hire a professional photographer to take photos of your home.
• By following these tips, buyers and sellers can increase their chances of success in the California housing market.

The California housing market is complex and ever-changing, but it is also a very exciting market to be in. With the right knowledge and preparation, buyers and sellers can succeed in this market.

If you are thinking about buying or selling a home in California, I encourage you to do your research and work with a qualified real estate agent. With the right team on your side, you can achieve your real estate goals. Renting could be an alternative too.  If you live in Los Angeles, California, or in the area, you can check out apartmentguide.com.

I hope this information has been helpful. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Sources:

• California Association of Realtors, “2023 California Housing Market Forecast“
• National Association of Realtors, “Existing-Home Sales Fall in July for Sixth Straight Month”
• Redfin, “California Housing Market Forecast 2023“
• Zillow, “California Home Prices Fall for First Time in Two Years“

“We go through three dozen life transitions in our lives; one every twelve to eighteen months. That’s more often than most people see a dentist.” – Bruce Feiler

I’m glad I was able to enroll in one of the courses being offered at my school. It is about strategies for building a resilient life.

But what is resilience, and how can we build it?

Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. It is a skill that can be learned and developed over time.

One of the most important things we can do to build resilience is to change our mindset. When we view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, we are more likely to persevere and succeed.

I took down notes on how to be more resilient in uncertainty:

1. Accept and depersonalize. This means accepting that change is a part of life and that we cannot control everything. It also means depersonalizing negative events and not blaming ourselves for things that are beyond our control.
2. Regulate your nervous system. When we are stressed, our nervous system goes into “fight or flight” mode. This can lead to anxiety and other negative emotions. To regulate our nervous system, we can practice deep breathing, meditation, and other relaxation techniques.
3. Build and nurture relationships. Strong social support networks are essential for resilience. Make time for the people you care about and connect with others who share your values and interests.
4. Cultivate self-awareness. Understanding our own strengths, weaknesses, and values can help us to cope with challenges and make better decisions.
5. Mobilize your resources. This includes identifying and using the resources we have available to us, such as our skills, financial resources, and social network.

We did an exercise to develop a more resilient mindset. First, we identified our negative thoughts and anxious feelings. Then, we reframed those thoughts and feelings into a more positive perspective.

Here is an example of how I did the exercise:

Negative:

• Thought: My move is harder than I thought because it is full of variables.
• Feelings: I feel anxious because of this uncertainty.
• Action: I act in ways that affect the present by thinking too much about the future.
• Result: I sabotage what good I have in the present.

Positive:

• Thought: I have resources (family, friends, finances, skills) to support my stay here.
• Feelings: I feel more at ease. I can’t control the opportunities that come my way, but I can definitely take action to make myself ready for it. And you know me, if there are no opportunities, I make one myself.
• Action: I actually sat down and plotted out a structured diagram (path, options, resources) – a personal guide to make this a success. I just need to focus on the work that needs to be done. Everything that I do now, is an investment to a better future.
• Result: I’m actually inadvertently attracting opportunities because I feel my energy shifted from gloom and doom to grow and bloom!

Changing my mindset still does not remove the uncertainty, but it does make me feel more confident and resilient. I know that I will be alright, no matter what challenges come my way.

This made me want to write about two of my favorite movies about the concept of time. Let’s delve into the concept of time that offer valuable lessons about life, love, and the beauty of everyday moments.

About Time

This movie has a special place in my heart, as it beautifully weaves together time travel and heartfelt storytelling. The film follows the life of Tim, a young man who discovers he has the extraordinary ability to travel back in time. While the time-travel element adds intrigue and fascination, the true essence of the movie lies in its moral lessons.

Throughout the film, we witness Tim’s journey of self-discovery and learn valuable lessons alongside him. One particular moment stands out as a poignant moral lesson when Tim is advised to go back in time twice. The first instance teaches him the importance of acceptance and letting things be, embracing the flow of life. The second instance prompts him to observe and cherish the small, often overlooked details that make life truly special. It is a powerful reminder to live in the present moment, appreciating the beauty of each passing day.

Reviews:

• “About Time” has received rave reviews for its heartwarming narrative and standout performances. Critics often praise the film’s ability to blend romance, comedy, and philosophical musings seamlessly. The Guardian described it as “a beautiful meditation on the nature of love, loss, and the passage of time.”

The Map of Tiny Perfect Things

Continuing our exploration of time-themed movies, let’s dive into “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things.” This charming and recently released film offers a fresh perspective on time, love, and the intricacies of relationships.

In this delightful story, we follow the lives of Mark and Margaret, two teenagers stuck in a time loop, reliving the same day over and over again. As they navigate this extraordinary circumstance, they discover hidden treasures in the most ordinary moments. “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things” beautifully illustrates the profound impact of small acts of kindness, the significance of human connection, and the beauty of embracing the present.

Reviews:

• “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things” has garnered positive reviews for its heartfelt performances and relatable exploration of love and time. The New York Times praised the film for its “sweet, smart, and soulful” approach, highlighting its ability to capture the essence of young love and the power of shared experiences.

Both of these movies offer profound reflections on time, love, and the art of appreciating life’s fleeting moments. These films remind us of the importance of embracing the present, valuing human connections, and finding beauty in the seemingly ordinary.

As renowned physicist Albert Einstein once said, “Time is an illusion.” Through the lens of these captivating movies, we are encouraged to reflect on the significance of each passing moment and the choices we make within the tapestry of time. Let these films inspire you to live each day with gratitude, savoring the tiny perfect moments that make life truly extraordinary.

For example, imagine you’re having a conversation with a friend about climate change, and your friend responds with “Well, what do you know? You didn’t even finish college!” That’s an ad hominem attack because your level of education has nothing to do with the validity of your argument.

Another example could be during a political debate when one candidate attacks the other candidate’s personal life instead of addressing the policy proposals. This is a common tactic in politics, unfortunately.

Ad hominem attacks are wrong for a few reasons. First, they are irrelevant to the argument at hand. Your personal life or credentials have nothing to do with whether or not your argument is valid. Second, ad hominem attacks can be hurtful and demeaning. They can make the person being attacked feel like they are not worthy of being heard or respected. Third, ad hominem attacks can derail the conversation and make it impossible to have a productive discussion.

If you’re ever in a situation where you’re being subjected to an ad hominem attack, the best thing to do is to ignore it and focus on the argument at hand. You can also try to redirect the conversation back to the topic at hand. For example, if your friend attacks you for not finishing college, you could say something like, “I understand that you’re concerned about my level of education, but I can assure you that I have done my research on climate change and I believe that my argument is valid. Let’s focus on the facts, please.”

It’s also important to be aware of your own biases. We all have a tendency to favor arguments that are made by people we like or respect, and to dismiss arguments that are made by people we dislike or disagree with. But it’s important to remember that the validity of an argument is not dependent on the person making it.

Here are some additional tips for avoiding ad hominem attacks:

• Be mindful of your language. Avoid using personal attacks or insults.
• Focus on the facts and evidence. Avoid making claims that cannot be supported.
• Be open to criticism and be willing to change your mind.
• Be respectful of others, even if you disagree with them.

By following these tips, we can all help to create a more civil and productive discourse.

As we savored the delicious meal, laughter and heartfelt discussions filled the air. The absence of screens allowed us to truly connect, to listen intently, and to share stories that brought us closer together. It was a refreshing change to be fully present and enjoy the company of loved ones without the constant distractions of technology.

Amidst the cheerful atmosphere, my brother proposed the idea of watching a horror movie. While the suggestion intrigued everyone, I couldn’t help but veto it, knowing my own tendency to get spooked easily, especially when it comes to sleeping alone. Little did I know that our conversation would take an eerie turn as we began sharing personal encounters with the supernatural.

The stories that unfolded about ghost sightings in our old house sent chills down our spines. I vividly remembered a childhood memory of seeing a mysterious white lady outside my bedroom window. At the time, I dismissed it as a mere dream. However, my sister shared a bone-chilling revelation that she, too, had seen the same ghost outside our living room. The unexplained occurrences left us pondering the mysteries of the supernatural world.

But the tales didn’t stop there. My sister recounted an unsettling incident she experienced with her boyfriend while driving home one night. They came across an eerie ghost bus, seemingly devoid of any passengers, including the driver. The inside of the bus was eerily lit, and it briefly flashed its headlights at them. It was a hair-raising encounter that left us questioning the thin line between reality and the paranormal.

In the spirit of sharing, I also opened up about a ghostly encounter I had during my time in Hawaii. It was a personal experience that still sent shivers down my spine as I recounted the details. The exchange of ghost stories brought us closer, making us feel like a tight-knit group bonded by these extraordinary encounters.

Reflecting on the evening, I couldn’t help but recall similar moments from my younger days. Memories of school retreats and overnight field trips came rushing back, where my classmates and I would gather, huddled together, sharing stories just like these. It was a reminder of the power of storytelling and how it can bring people closer, fostering a sense of connection and shared experiences.

This experience further solidified my belief that I don’t need my phone as much as I once thought, except for work or school-related matters. The joy and depth of connection that came from our uninterrupted conversations reaffirmed the value of being fully present with loved ones.

To add a humorous touch, even my grandma decided to give up her phone, resorting to tossing it away whenever it vibrated to signal an incoming call. We couldn’t help but laugh at her unconventional approach to managing phone calls.

In the end, it was an evening filled with laughter, eerie tales, and genuine connection. It reminded me of the importance of embracing such moments of togetherness and the power of shared experiences. As we bid each other goodnight, the rain continued to pour outside, but inside, our hearts were warm with the love and connection we had cultivated throughout the night.

For example, in the Philippines, we ride jeepneys for public transportation. These are open-ended vehicles that can sit around 10-20 passengers. During heavy traffic, it’s not uncommon for children with rags on their hands to hop on board and offer to clean passengers’ shoes. They do this without being asked, but they expect to be paid for their services. This is a form of quid pro quo, where the children are providing a service and expecting compensation in return.

The problem with quid pro quo arises when it becomes a form of emotional manipulation. People can use guilt or other tactics to pressure someone into providing something in return for their services. This can create an unfair and uncomfortable situation, where someone feels obligated to comply even if they don’t want to.

It’s essential to distinguish quid pro quo from unconditional acts of service, where someone genuinely wants to help without expecting anything in return. In these situations, there’s no pressure or manipulation involved, and the act is done purely out of kindness.

As I was studying for my CPA Board exam, quid pro quo was one of the concepts that really stuck with me. It made me realize how easily people can be taken advantage of in situations where they feel obligated to provide something in return for a service or favor. It’s important to be aware of these dynamics and to always consider whether the exchange is fair and voluntary.

Quid pro quo can be a useful tool in business and negotiations, but it can also be a form of emotional manipulation when used improperly. It’s crucial to distinguish between fair exchanges and situations where someone is being taken advantage of. Always consider whether the exchange is voluntary and fair before agreeing to anything.

Everyone goes through this period where they need a fresh view. It could be for any reason, mine being, I feel like my physical space just got bigger but empty. I have no drive to do the things that I was constantly doing before like playing strategy games, farming for my crypto investments, making videos and posting on social media. The one thing that is keeping me going is coming back to dance again and be in touch with my closest friends and family.

I’ve been re-evaluating my place in this world. With dreams accomplished and bucket lists ticked, I’m seeking for another purpose. One I will be able to do by myself. My friend and former partner for an esports team asked me to go out with him and his girlfriend yesterday. After 5 tequilas I was surprised I was sober as a little girl drinking milk. Weird, my body is going through changes and I’m noticing every single new thing my body does. Getting back to my point, we talked a bit about business and this sparked some interest in my hyperactive brain.

And so, I’m trying to figure out what to do next. Because the only way I will feel better is if I work on something and progress each day. I’ll take it one day at a time. Like how my only goal yesterday was to prepare a breakfast that I can finish eating. My goal the day before that is to be able train at the studio once a week. Today’s goal apparently is about survival, lol. I am forced to deal with my thoughts, without talking to anyone. It was chaotic at first. my first flight which lasted for four hours made me feel claustrophobic towards the end, almost vomiting. Now, I’m at my third hour of eight, and I feel better, because I am writing.

Writing is my answer to everything. It has helped me over the years.

I also got in touch with my friend who is a life coach. She has helped me get in control of my mind. Basically, it’s easier to control your actions but we all know that our mind is the driver. So if you condition your mind to see a different perspective, or train it how to process thoughts and feelings, then you solved the root problem rather than just controlling your actions.

She told me to practice welcoming feelings of the present, like gratitude. I’m grateful for friends, family, and this blog.

I’m also trying to find a long-term solution to my current dilemma. Band-aids are not helpful because they are temporary. Wounds need proper diagnosis and care.

Blogs are dead. I don’t expect anyone to read this. But if you made it this far, thank you.

Xoxo,
Flair

This is one of the few things I realized over these past few weeks that I’ve been isolating myself with my own thoughts. I want to choose the ordinary life, but ordinary life does not choose me. I want to be simple, but does simple also mean ordinary? Quite not so. I am not the most eloquent person, so I usually struggle to put words and lay out the logic of my opinion. Hence, I typically lose a debate. But, nevertheless, I will try my best to explain.

I guess simple means minimal. But it does not mean ordinary. Simple means embracing the basics. While being ordinary means nothing special. I can be simple yet create something extraordinary. I can also be the opposite of simple, that is, be complicated but create something ordinary.

I hope you get my point by now.

I guess ordinary means you follow the norms dictated by society. I am not this person. I find myself breaking the status quo, going beyond expectations, and rebelling against certain traditions that I am not comfortable following.

Most people find it difficult to understand, that’s why I also have difficulties in finding a life partner. This is really some personal thing I’m pouring out on my blog, but holler at the comment section, or dm if you can relate. Or like this post or whatever, let me know if you feel me, people!