Grief

Grief is a complex emotion, like unspent love—love that you can no longer give. It surfaces in response to various losses, from the passing of a loved one to the end of a relationship, missed opportunities, or the fading of passions. These moments of loss are like uncharted territory where the heart aches for what once was.

Yesterday, I treated myself to a day at the beach, taking advantage of what feels like an extended summer and being immersed in the beautiful coastal area that this city has to offer. With a cup of coffee (wanted liquor but I can’t DUI), a bite of banana bread (I’ve tasted better), and a notebook in hand, I listed the milestones I needed to reach for a successful stay here. A few milestones have been checked, the most recent one, getting my driver’s license finally! I believe that action counters anxiety.

My recent relocation to this city has been a significant part of my journey. It wasn’t my first choice, I planned to live in another city, but it has proven to be a guided path. It was like all roads led me to this moment. My move went smoothly, without me having to worry too much. It’s a reminder that even the most meticulously planned paths don’t always go our way, but they can lead us to unexpected and beautiful destinations. It’s a lesson in letting go of excessive worry and embracing life transitions with an open heart.

Amid this bustling journey, one thing became clear—I still need to address my grief. An enlightening conversation with my landlady about her desire to volunteer at a hospital sparked a brilliant idea. Volunteering is the path I’ve been seeking, an opportunity to make a positive impact and find renewed purpose. With my cup overflowing, this is a good way to give back. One day, I am thinking of hosting free yoga or dance classes for the elderly. It was my specialty when I was teaching dance classes before. I feel enlightened by just the thought of this.

I’ve also come to appreciate the role of relationships in my personal growth. While self-improvement is essential, healthy relationships play a crucial role in shaping us. They challenge us to manage our emotions, refine ourselves, and become better individuals. They point out areas where we can improve, that we will never realize if we just work on our growth just by ourselves. They provide us with genuine feedback and support that enrich our lives.

As I move forward on my personal journey, striving to achieve my goals and contribute to the world, I remain open to the possibilities life may offer. However, for the time being, I grieve.