Path

I have been through a lot… I rant around my blog before… I complain and nag… I cried… I appear to be the victim all the time… I lose myself… I always wanted to be the best… I hate failures… I’d hate myself if I don’t achieve my goal… I drown myself with emotions… cloud myself with tears…

I think I have gone a long way and I think I have changed…

I have learned not to make a big deal about the sad things… I get too jumpy and hyper and happy at the littlest things!  I appreciate everything more ,like a simple gumamela flower from a friend… A company from a new friend in an unfamiliar place… The smiles I get when I just pass by people…With this I think I became happier… And other people can see it.

I am not sure if this guy I just met will read this, but here’s a story about him…

Flooded way beside a river

The path from my house to our parking lot has always been giving me dramatic walks… By dramatic I mean the ambiance of the street is just right… It’s a long walk… I pass through all kinds of people… Lovers… friends… barkadas… Old couples taking a walk… Most often, I walk by night so I always see the fashionable lightposts, the silent buildings on my left and right that tell me that people are already sleeping… Hush…

I always see the moon… in a different place each time… sometimes I see it bigger… sometimes, it’s small.. sometimes I see none but clouds and a starless sky… That lane always tells me a story… and in this lane, I become a poet…  Ideas, thoughts, and philosophies just come into mind… everytime I walk this path… I always think about life… pleasantly this time… no anger, no hate… all just pure meanderings and thoughtfulness of what life is to me.

So there’s this one time when I walked from my unit to the parking lot… It was half a night…

I walked and I noticed the clouds were moving quite faster than normal… but it wasn’t that cloudy because I see the moon.  Then I got my phone, and typed whatever came into my mind… I have forgotten that there are other people around…

I spaced out… and like in a trance, these I wrote:

“The sky was half gray, half black.  The clouds look dramatic.  I feel like I can reach it…”

That was my trail of thought… I know I had many more and I could fill a thousand word’s prose by that time… but unfortunately I was awoken from my day dream… and right now, I could not remember what other words I need to gather to finish that prose… so it remains .. unfished…

What distracted me?

I suddenly realized that I almost bumped myself into a motionless car, parked at the side of the street… I thought no one was in the car… but suddenly, the lights inside the car lit up… I saw shadows of two men…

I was embarrassed as hell, as I could just imagine myself walking blankly as I wrote my prose…  I tried to imagine what I must have looked like on their vantage point and my imagination returned a horrible image.

I carried along… and walked and ignored the embarrassment…

When I was near the parking lot, I heard someone on a skateboard approaching my direction… I saw him at the corner of my eye… I thought he would pass me by… to my surprise, he stopped beside me…

He was tall and young… but probably not younger than me…

“Sorry, I just felt that I had to approach you… I think you’re cute.”

Teehee.. good thing I didn’t look like a crazy candy wandering around trancing her way to her car…

I guess it’s the “aura” that I exude lately… This good aura attracts the good kinds of people… even strangers… I just smile and be not afraid… Life is short…

I think that every person you encounter brings a tiny message that could help you be where you are supposed to be… You just need to be keen on figuring out what… because I believe that there’s no such thing as coincidence… everything has a reason… every motion…

The planets and the stars… the vast universe… all are in place because they have the right pull of gravity attracting and detracting each other that made them stay in their place… or rotate in whatever way they supposed to.

The Path…

To me, it’s a key to understanding my fast-motioned life.  I have a deadly daily routine… I get up to work, exercise a little, prepare for work.. work hardcore… go home.. blog.. sleep…

The path leads me no choice but to stop and think… and focus on what matters most to me…

For now, it’s love…

Love for many things…

Love for passion… passion in my career.. what I want to do…

Love for family… Love for friends… Love for self…

Love … for a special someone I am yet to discover…

I may crash and burn again… but finding love in everything you do… discovering it… experiencing it… and feeling it… is all worth the risk…

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9 comments

  1. I have been reading other people’s blog, hoping to learn and improve my writing. I just started blogging.. and truly your post amazed me. I think even if I try a million times to match your writing, I can’t do it, at least not yet. you inspire me. I’ll keep reading..

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